<p>I said get your hands off the goddamn glass!</p>
<p>Did that make you cry? Well get over it already.</p>
<p>How many friggin' times do I have to say it? And don't play the whole 'I'm only a 3-year old girl, I don't know any better' card on me. I gave you one warning, that should have sufficed. If you do it again after that I suddenly lose my ability to scoop ice cream for little brats...if you know what I mean.</p>
<p>Needless to say, I'm not having the greatest day. Let me give you a little background information.</p>
<p>I woke up at 5 AM today, as always, and was tired as a "mother-trucker". I use this terminology because I don't want to have my blog censored by some suit-wearing jerk lounging in his swanky metropolitan office somewhere in who the hell knows. Check that...in who the hell CARES.</p>
<p>The water in my shower came out piping hot when I turned it on, and may or may not have burned my right forearm when I tried to check the heat. And the worst part? I had only turned the knob a centimeter or so before it reached the temperature of the devil's satanic grandmother. Who cares if that doesn't make sense, it's my blog and I do what I want! Seriously though, who in the hell makes such sensitive shower knobs? I could tell it was just gonna be one of those days...</p>
<p>Driving into work was a bitch, too. I usually love listening to 103.6 The Hound on weekday mornings but DJ Diggity Fresh Bruce totally brought his C game today. I caught the tail end of a Creed song when I turned it on, which I suffered through in hopes of improvement. But directly after that came Nickelback, which of course forced me to call in to the station and yell at the operator. After 7 F-Bombs, lightly sprinkled with a medley of death threats, he hung up on me, which sent me through the roof!</p>
<p>I tried to calm myself during the commercial break, but found it hard since I had to listen to 3 straight automobile ads talking about crazy sales. I don't give a damn about 0% APR financing! When the station came back on, I calmly said out loud, "Diggity Fresh Bruce, if this song has anything to do post-grunge angsty pop-rock I will absolutely lose it." Sure enough though, Good Charlotte came roaring through my car stereo and I started crying. I accelerated through 2 red lights and flicked off some old man at a bus stop thumbing at me to turn my music down. I had it blaring...that pain needed to be shared.</p>
<p>You'd think getting into the routine of work would settle down the volatility of my day...but you'd be wrong. Charlize (my manager) made me change the sodas in the fountain before we opened, which she knows is my least favorite thing to do in the world. As I was changing out the Wild Cherry Pepsi's I couldn't help but meditate on the irrelevance of my life and the awful choices I must have made that led me to this dump of a job. To think that in 100 years...no probably 100 days, no one would know, let alone care, that I was the sad soul who rang them up every day at their local convenience store...that was depressing. After about 30 seconds of that reasoning I needed a break, so I took off my apron and went on a walk. It was 6: 12 AM.</p>
<p>After a nice stroll in the 'woods', I came back into the store at 1:30 PM. I use quotations around the word woods because that's a little glorification there; it was really just a set of trees outlining the barbed wire fence surrounding some automotive factory a mile or so away from the store. Either way, Charlize was pissed that I had gone AWOL, and it took me about 15 minutes to convince her to let me keep my job. The main reason she did was because I was very proficient at making milkshakes and it takes a hell of a long time to show someone without a GED how to do that.</p>
<p>The shit hit the fan around this time, though. No one prepped me that the local elementary school had early dismissal that day, which gave me zero time to get ready for the herds of little brats that came piling into the store. Of course, they all wanted the most obscure shakes with the most annoying specificities. After the third kid I started critiquing their selections. "Are you kidding me? Superman ice cream milkshake? That is just gross."</p>
<p>"Pineapple milkshake with chocolate milk? God you kids are sick..."</p>
<p>Through it all I had to continuously warn the kids to get their hands off the glass, since it usually smeared the displays and was an obvious health hazard. Most of them were good about it...Suzy Hanes, however, was not. Suzy came in with her older brother Tyler and her mother, Jillian (who for what it's worth is a GRADE A Hoo-Ha)... (And for what it's worth...Hoo-Ha means Be-to-the-E-otch)...(And for what it's worth, that means Bitch).</p>
<p>Suzy is 3, and happened to be in her mother's arms when they came up to order. Seeing the line, I was a bit irritated to begin with when Jill started asking her child what she wanted in baby's terms. Believe me, that got old pretty quickly. After about 30 seconds of questioning followed by blank stares, I was starting to think Suzy had some form of autism. Right when I was about to suggest this she finally answered...by smearing her sausage fingers all over the glass in the vicinity of the vanilla. "Get your hands off the glass Sue," I promptly said. Her mother seemed mortified.</p>
<p>I started working on her shake, departing to another side of the counter. My effort was haphazard at best, considering I wasn't very happy with Sue's behavior thus far. In my eyes, she didn't deserve a well-made treat. When I was finished, I turned around to give the girl her treat, when WHADDAYAKNOW???</p>
<p>Suzy was back at it shoving her hands all over my glass counter. "Hey Sue! Get your hands off the goddamn glass!" I yelled. She quickly looked up and her eyes started to water. Her mouth began to quiver, and I knew what was coming. "Oh you better not!" I shouted, but to no avail. She began sobbing incessantly and her mother turned up the Hoo-Ha level to Max, yelling at me in front of everyone.</p>
<p>I, obviously, took her shake and trashed it, since her behavior was downright offensive. My manager came out and tried to quell the whole situation, making herself a human buffer between me and Jill, who were at that point in each other's grill about what I had said. Charlize began pushing me back into the employee area, but I still had a few words to say, "Hey Sue...HEY SUE! Keep your trap shut or hit the road! I don't need to hear your whiny ass disturbing the peace in my store...Oh can it Jill everyone knows that kid has Auspurgers...Oh how would I know? I took night classes for two months at community college you friggin' Hoo Ha!"</p>
<p>Charlize sat me down in the back after the storm had died down. "What in the hell was that?" She asked.</p>
<p>It was just one of those days.</p>
<p>Schizosblog.com
</p>
<br><br><br><br><a href="http://iautoblog.com">iAutoblog</a> the premier <a href="http://iautoblog.com">autoblogger</a> software
No comments:
Post a Comment