<p>Lets set the scene - youre grinding your way along at one mile an hour on, well, just about any of Britains motorways these days! Youve listened to your own music until youre word-perfect, and bored, so you decide to switch on the radio. (Well, it was either that or slipping into your usual rant about haulage companies schedules, the UKs roads and governments indifference to your predicament as a professional driver!)</p>
<p>Just when you thought it couldnt get worse, you start getting a selection of DJ comments as you scan the frequencies:</p>
<p>1. Its a beautiful day today folks... - not if youre sitting in a huge traffic jam it isnt;</p>
<p>2. The holidays are nearly here yippee you probably feel like youll still be sitting in the same jam by the time the holidays arrive;</p>
<p>3. This songs guaranteed to cheer you up how do they know? If youve been sitting staring at the same my other cars a Ferrari sticker in front for the past two hours, then Justin Biebers voice suddenly exploding out of the speakers is unlikely to send your spirits soaring to new heights of ecstasy;</p>
<p>4. Heres a new one from well, it may be new if youre under 10 but if you can remember the third cover in 1997, the second in 1986, the first in 1979 and the original of 1973, then youll probably want to put your boot through the radio (apart from anything else, it just reminds you how ancient you are);</p>
<p>5. Todays a day when everybodys happy - once again, just how do they know? Did they consult you? Did they telephone everyone in the traffic jam to survey their current state of contentedness?</p>
<p>6. A heads-up for drivers and haulage companies - were getting news of a minor hold-up and possible delays on this is always guaranteed to get you chewing your nails ragged with rage. Just how out-of-date is their news? Is their helicopter flying overhead totally incapable of seeing the nightmare youre stuck in given theyre talking about possible delays? Maybe theyre talking about a different jam that took place yesterday and theyve only just got around to reporting it;</p>
<p>7. Serious problems for motorists and haulage companies due to problems reported on the . there then follows an extensive list of motorways, A-roads and traffic jams BUT the one youre on/in doesnt even get a mention;</p>
<p>8. Heres everybodys favourite is there a piece of music anywhere that everyone universally loves? This can be even more inclined to drive you towards abandoning your vehicle when the much-loved tones of Clive Dunns Grandad start to echo around your cab;</p>
<p>9. The station that brings you great music - maybe so, but when exactly? Youve been listening to it for what seems like eternity and so far all youve heard is inane banter between two so-called celebrity DJs and a pulse-racing interview with someone that collects vintage straw hats. </p>
<p>Of course, these DJs and stations serve a beneficial purpose for haulage companies they keep the drivers occupied when in jams by constantly flicking around trying to find something less irritating!</p>
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